Gwen flager (she/her)
Gwen Flager is a Houston based playwright, who was raised in Shreveport, Louisiana, and lived in Mobile, Alabama. Her full-length plays include Waiting To Be Mended, produced in Houston by Theatre Suburbia in 2010, and Shakin’ the Blue Flamingo, selected for the 2017 - 2018 New Works Development Program, and produced in Houston by Queensbury Theatre in 2018. Sing Me to the Other Side was selected as a semi-finalist in the Bechdel Test Festival 2.0 (2019). In Flight, a 10-minute play, was produced at the Fifth Annual Museum Plays by Scriptwriters Houston in 2012. Jornada del Muerto, a 10-minute play, was produced at the 25th Annual Scriptwriters Houston 10 x 10 Showcase in 2015; presented at the Midwest Dramatists Conference in September 2017; produced at the 2019 Santa Cruz Actors Theatre 8 Tens @ 8 Short Play Festival; and selected for Itinerant Theatre’s 2020 “The Play’s the Thing: Life Inspired” New Play Series. Clean-Up on Aisle Seven, a 10-minute play, was read at Theatre Southwest’s Spotlight: Houston Playwrights in March 2020. Gwen is a member of the Dramatists Guild and Scriptwriters Houston.
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O THE WILD CHARGE
a play by Gwen Flager Excerpt for Theatre Viscera [Early morning, black temporary cremation urn sits on coffee table, man’s wrist watch, business letter and envelope.]
PEGGY She’s coming in on the two o’clock flight. I told her I’d pick her up. But, no. She wouldn’t hear of it. Said she would take the shuttle from the airport to the hotel. Then call a limousine service. I gave her Eddy’s number. Told her he is a sometimes cab driver. Safety first is his motto. Oh, no, she says. Can’t be riding with those kind of people. For fuck’s sake. Sorry. Your sister never was my favorite. I know. Yours either. Coffee. I need coffee. [Ambles over to the coffee pot, pours a cup] And you know what else. She wants you. All of you. Not just a little sprinkle to take back to the old homestead or wherever she plans to take you. I didn’t tell her I still had you. She had a copy of your will and knew what your final wishes were. The woman couldn’t make it to town for your memorial service. Had some damn fancy horse show to attend. Couldn’t get a refund on the entry fee, I guess. That’s horseshit. Sorry. I haven’t wanted a cigarette in over ten years, but this would be the perfect morning to fire one up. I’m not gonna. Just saying. Lana Mae knows you left her all of your mom’s old stuff. Maybe old stuff is not the best term. Treasured antiques perhaps. Eddy and I wrapped what we could as best we could. I think the pictures are okay. But, the quilts are . . . well, kinda in your condition. Want a cup? It’s stronger than you like. [Gets another cup of coffee] Eddy’s been a mess the last couple of days. The anniversary of your . . . well, you know. I took him down to an all-you-can-eat-buffet on Friday. That man can eat some fried catfish. And did you ever notice how much tartar sauce he uses? I never paid much attention before. His fish looked like he had smeared cake icing on it. And you know what else? I never knew Eddy loved Brussel sprouts. It was like watching someone eat marbles. Fascinating. I had meatloaf and green beans. I’m the whole reason that buffets do well. There is no way I can eat fifteen dollars worth of anything. They lost money on Eddy though. He had three plates of fish and a huge wedge of chocolate cake. I love that man. Well, you know, not like “love that man.” But love him for the sweet soul he is. His mother sure wished it were different. She still sends me birthday cards. She was at the memorial service. She spoke you know. Shared how you mowed her yard when Eddy’s leg was in a cast. Said you mowed it better. And then edged and swept up. Said it looked very professional. Then segued into that whole women can do better theme. She made Eddy blush. We all had a good laugh. [Puts coffee cup on the counter] I’ll be gyrating if I have more coffee without something to eat. [Looks in container for protein bar, etc.] This’ll do. I might as well have a Snickers. Will you look at the sugars in this. I suppose it’s the fiber that’s supposed to be impressive. Well, nothing like a little sugar and caffeine to get the day started faster. [Door bell rings] Oh, please don’t let that be Lana Mae. I haven’t even brushed my teeth. [Goes to door/opens] EDDY Surprise. I brought you breakfast from Gourmet Delights. You look just like a princess in the morning. Let’s give Disney a call. PEGGY You sweet man. Get in here. EDDY I’ll get a tray. Is that Alice? I only brought enough for two. PEGGY It is. Got her out of the closet last night. Glad to see you’ve got a sense of humor this morning. Been visiting with Alice about Maebell’s arrival today. EDDY Oh, Sweet Aunt Fannie. Alice was the only one to call Lana “Maebell” after she changed her name. You know, I never thought it was an unflattering name. Lana wore it well. Best not call her Maebell this visit. PEGGY Alice might think it appropriate. Besides, I’ve always called her Lana Mae. It never bothered her before. I’ll be damned if she waltzes in here and dictates how I address her. Mrs. Privileged Horsewoman who lives in Dallas, Texas. She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t care that - - EDDY No she doesn’t. PEGGY I don’t like - - EDDY I don’t like the quiet. You don’t replace big personalities like Alice. It was the three of us for so long. PEGGY I turn up the volume when I hear the music she loved and sing as loud as I can. I’m grateful to have loved her during her country/western phase. She’d been long gone by the time she was mesmerized by heavy metal. I don’t know how what’s-her-name endured those years. But that is another story, isn’t it. God bless her. I haven’t thought of her in forever. Suppose that’s a good thing. She did send a sympathy card. Made a donation to the pit bull rescue group. I always thought there was a slight resemblance between . . . well, never mind. If you can’t say anything nice . . . EDDY I should probably skedaddle before sweetness and light arrives. Lana had visions of Alice marrying me and saving me from eternal hell. PEGGY You and I and Alice knew that was not going to happen. The marrying part anyway. I’m not convinced that we’re the ones going to hell. Eddy, thanks for coming this morning and having breakfast with me. Forward the Light Brigade! Charge for the guns!, he said: Into the valley of Death rode the six hundred. EDDY Alice’s favorite poem. PEGGY Yes. EDDY I never cared for Tennyson. I’m a Poe man myself. PEGGY Well, bless your heart. I bought Alice a lovely book on Emily Dickinson. She used it as a door stop. I had a little better luck with the “Selected Poems of Amy Lowell.” At least Amy was like-minded. Not easy to love from what I’ve read. But neither was I. EDDY It’s a little early to insult me about my choice in poets. I did bring you breakfast. [End of Excerpt] |
