conlan carter (he/him)
Conlan Carter, a Minnesota native, is currently living and writing in Brooklyn. His playwriting work includes Wyoming, MN (The Lark, Cherry Lane Theatre), Plain Brown Box (The New School), The Loon (Fresh Fruit Festival), Real (Midtown International Theatre Festival), The Fractal Pattern (Workhouse Theatre Company), Flicker (The Secret Theatre), and Nets (24 Hour Plays: Nationals). He is a member of the Dramatists Guild and the Playwrights’ Center. As a director, he has worked with MCC theatre as well as directed several short films.
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Wyoming, MN
A play by Conlan Carter Excerpt for Theatre Viscera [Forest Lake. The same bench as seen earlier, now silhouetted by the harsh, white flood lamps of the parking lot behind. JAROD and WESLEY look at the lake. Both of them are holding styrofoam cups. JAROD now has a pair of work gloves on. A small, wrapped gift sits nearby.]
WESLEY When was this? JAROD A long time ago. [WESLEY shakes his head.] JAROD What? WESLEY Nothing, just had a thought, but it’s not worth asking. What does it feel like? JAROD I don’t know, I just kind of like, blacked out. Hurt like shit when I woke up. I couldn’t say a single word for like, a full week. My throat had totally snapped shut. Even just a little water can make it do that, I guess. WESLEY Geez. JAROD Yeah, and some of my ribs were cracked. WESLEY From . . . hitting the // water? JAROD From getting CPR. WESLEY Oh my gosh, are you okay? JAROD Yeah? WESLEY Okay. [Pause.] JAROD Did you get your cables back // I can’t remember. WESLEY Oh, yeah. I threw ‘em back in the . . . back. JAROD I bet the car’s okay now. WESLEY Give it an extra few minutes. It’s cold. JAROD Usually it’s fine by now. But this happens a lot. WESLEY In the summer? JAROD Maybe once. WESLEY Probably a wire loose, then. If you’ve got a drain on it. [WESLEY looks around.] There really isn’t anyone out here. JAROD You can see people on the other side of the lake. WESLEY Where? Right there? JAROD Yeah. WESLEY . . . I think that’s the outside of a fish house. Too close to be the other side. JAROD “Fish house”? WESLEY Like for ice fishing? // An ice fishing house. JAROD Oh, yeah, I never called them that. [Pause.] WESLEY Kinda returning to the scene of the crime. JAROD “The crime.” WESLEY Yeah, well, no, not a crime, but. If I broke my legs falling off a cliff, you probably wouldn’t catch me hanging around any cliffs at odd hours of the night, ya know. JAROD I can’t avoid being near bodies of water. WESLEY You know what I mean. The cliff. JAROD Maybe. Might be different if you jumped off yourself. WESLEY Maybe. [Short pause.] JAROD Well, you never know. I don’t swim, if that’s what you’re worried about— WESLEY No, no. I’m not worried about your, uh, choice of recreational activity . . . JAROD What? WESLEY I don’t know, “ironic” isn’t the right word. [Short pause.] JAROD This is the first time I’ve come back. Today. WESLEY Oh. That’s good. Or . . . Yeah. JAROD “Scene of the crime.” WESLEY [Embarrassed] Oh, yeah. Shut up, me. [Pause.] JAROD Thanks for the, uh, what is this? WESLEY I think it’s French Vanilla? They all kinda taste the same to me, anyway. I don’t think there’s any dairy in there. I asked, but the guy just gave me a look. JAROD I’m not vegan. WESLEY Just saying. JAROD It’s pretty good. WESLEY Really? It’s from a BP, you sure? JAROD Yeah. I feel really bad that I’m keeping you up all night. WESLEY It hasn’t been all night. JAROD You’re being nice to me. WESLEY It’s a Saturday. What am I doing? [Short pause.] JAROD You could be out, cruising the Saloon or something— WESLEY Oh, that place is gross. JAROD Right? I know. [Short pause.] I’ve been there a bunch of times, anyway-- WESLEY Oh yeah, no, dozens. JAROD Really? WESLEY Yeah? Just ’cause it’s far . . . Not really my scene. JAROD Huh. [Pause.] WESLEY I am cruising, anyway. JAROD Is that what you’d call this? [End of Excerpt.] |
